My Crazy Thoughts: 12/01/2005

So...I finished 2 scarves. I'm planning on giving them to Jenn and Charlie for Christmas, luckily they won't be here until the weekend, because I just finished them yesterday. They are matching colors, but different pattern, but the pattern kinda matches too. Hopefully it's not too cutesy. They are both baghdad blue Peace Fleece. I hope they both appreciate the sentiment. I'm thinking I should also get them a gift certificate to somewhere, since I'm not sure if they will actually use the scarves or if they will just be space-taker-upers. I don't know. Pictures later, maybe.

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone had a lovely day today. I know I did. Sat around and basked in my wonderful gifts. I got a PDA, and for a few hours was horribly afraid, though uneccesarily, that it would never be able to to sync with my e-mail and I just didn't have any idea why. But I called Dell (it's an Axim) on Christmas no less, and it took me a while on hold and a while with a technician, but I spoke to two people whom I understood very well AND my problem was solved...ON CHRISTMAS. I know people give dell a lot of flack but I've had pretty good experiences with them so far.

My mom got me a gorgeous sweater that I'm going to enjoy wearing very much and pattern a day crochet calender. And my mom is either psychic or she really did go out in the middle of the night last night to get me a food processor. There has been at least two times in the last week, one time being just last night, when I determined that we NEED a food processor, and what do you know, I got one today. Tomorrow (maybe) I'm either going to make mocha macadamia nut shortbread cookies or some truffles (I'll post the recipe if I get a copy of it). My aunt sent me a voo doo kit, and I am just heathen enough to know that I'm probably going to enjoy owning it.

And...I've gotten to enjoy just being home and relaxing this last week. It's been a really great Christmas, I hope everyone had as good a holiday as I did.

Merry Christmas!

I've been a bad blogger lately, and eventually I'm sure I will do a better job. Until then I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Holiday Season.
Tonight I will be celebrating Christmas with my family.

Merry Christmas, Channukah, Kwanzaa, and anything I left out.

The lowdown

So here's the deal. Going into finals I had a lot to worry about. There were a lot of chances that finals would pull down my grades so far that I would end up with some consequences that I'm hoping I never have to face, but realise given my prior performance are pretty far inside the realm of possibility. The only REAL worry was in my two biggest credit courses. There was a little worry in another because though I had an A going in, the final was worth 50% of our grade and so there was a possibility that I could fail just based on that one exam, and it didn't help that it was a 10am and we had a HUGE exam at 2pm the day before. I narrowly missed a D in one class. And I was able to pull it out on the final and get a B on it, which ensured me a C in the class, and if he is nice enough to curve just a big I may have a C+ or a B (please). I can hardly remember the time when I would have been horrified by Cs anymore. And I can assure you that when I was checking grades and I saw that in the first C class I had a C I nearly threw a party. The other class allowed us to take our exams with us so that we could check it against the key that was posted later. I didn't check it for 2 days because I was so worried that I had done poorly. It's one of those classes where, you just never can tell how it's going to go and they always test us on some aspect of the material that we didn't really know or understand the difference between that and something they did cover. It's crazy and nerve wracking. But I was lucky and managed a B. I also spent a lot of time supressing panic attacks so that I could study for it like crazy. And so this whole long explanation is because I went into finals pretty sure that I would walk out with 2 more Ds. We're only allowed 3 before we have to start retaking classes and I have 1, so that put me in a rather bad spot. I don't want anyone to think that I exaggerating or putting myself down, or unaware of my abilities. I was very lucky on a good deal that week along with my hard work. It probably didn't hurt any that we did psychiatric disorders during finals considering I was a psych major. While we never studyed anything like we studyed for these finals I was at least more familiar with the basic disease states and some of their symptomology. The fact that I didn't get any Ds this semester (at least I'm pretty sure about that) is also a big relief for next semester which is supposed to be even more difficult. It gives me a little leeway. And it should (maybe?) pull my GPA up a little, little bit. Trust me, the anxiety and the panic and the crazyness were well deserved and It probably won't be the last time it happens. But at this point I'm more than excited about my grades. So, yeah, I did okay, not stellar by any means, but well enough that I'm really happy with myself right now.

I'll spell check tomorrow.

Retraction

I hereby withdraw my previous wish that grades spontaneosly combust. Bring them on baby.

I've spent a decent chunk of my life trying to decide what it is I'm supposed to do with it. And I have decided that, while I may not like it, this MUST be what God wants me to do. I'm not a bible thumping person, and sometimes I have issues with Him, but I think that if I was supposed to do something else then it should have been obvious to him by now that I didn't get them memo and he should do something a little more obvious to get my attention.
And so, with this, I'm putting it in His hands tomorrow, I've done all I can. And while it's nowhere near enough, because I took the practice test, all I can do now is hope that it turns out okay. I'm going to bed now. I'll be up in 6 hours, and at 10am I will probably be having the biggest anxiety attack to date. I just hope no one notices when I start crying during the exam. It's a possibility.

And with that said, I really want next Friday to come, and then I want grades to spontaneously combust so I never have to find out how I did. And I want to go home. And I want to be NORMAL.

This morning was a rather depressing morning. It was overcast outside, I have a nial tomorrow morning that I'll never be ready for, my cat's sick, and school is a constant worry... But when I opened my door I found this:

And then I went downstairs and found this:

Which just goes to show that I have a pretty awesome roommate.
And then this evening I got this:

But Thank you mom, it's very pretty, and it made my day. And thank you for the comment too.

Because you can never post about hooks too often?

So...of course I watch Papa Don H's ebay store. And he put a new style of hooks out there, and I am considering one. They are shorter than normal, so I'm not sure if I will even like them. I'm not really sure I'll like the ones I've already bought, I mean, I think I will, but who knows? Maybe I'll lose interest soon anyway. But the hook is pretty, and no one had bid on it in a couple of days. Someone's bid on it now, but only one person, so if it rolls around to auction end time and no one else has bid on it then I will, just on principle. And tonight they put up this one. It's so pretty, but I just bought a P hook and while I already have an idea for it's use, I don't know how much use I have for a bunch of big hooks, so the fact that it is a N is no so much in it's favor. So maybe I'll just request that they make me a smaller one in that color. I'm already making a list of what I want to request. This color is one of them.

Okay, back to studying. One more week.

My "stuff I want" list is so huge but really right now I'd go without it all if I could just get Cs and higher. No Ds!(or Es). Please!
Please. Please. Please.Please.

How is it that I never foresaw this much trouble? It really doesn't help to be told not to study too hard when you know you'll be lucky to pull a C. When you know that all you need are 3 more Ds and then your whole world stops and halfway reverses. A whole year wasted. It just makes me mad when people are so sure I'll do okay. As if they know my test scores. You have no idea. Placation doesn't help. It makes it worse, because then I have to think about what I will say when I have to take this year over again. I think the very worst part would be the learning the new people. Finding new study buddies and figuring out who to ask when I have a question. The knowing that everyone knows that I'm the dumb one.

But since no one is going to give me the option to either pass or get some of the stuff on my stuff I want list I'm going to write my list.
The stars denotes stuff I'm probably going to buy.

Possibly 2 skiens. *For a scarf for Jenn (and maybe a second scarf for someone else)
2 Skiens for a pair of socks for me.
And, I also want some pink variegated sock yarn for some breast cancer awareness socks that I found a pattern for and have e-mailed Brook to beg her to teach me to knit.
And I have a pattern for a shrug, I just can't decide what to do it in.
And I have an idea for a shawl/poncho but I have to find a yarn for it too.
...
And I'm worried that if I order it I will then incur the wrath of the universe and most definitely fail, so maybe I'll just wait until grades come out to decide.
And I'm tired now, so I think I'll sleep and think more clearly in the morning.

Oh, and I just got an e-mail from the Ozarktwist people. They received payment and will ship my hooks Friday, which means they will hopefully be waiting for me when I get home.

I hope everyone has very specific Christmas lists because I'm not really very creative this year and I don't have very much time to think up great things.

Ebay is MADNESS!

I don't know how to knit but...

Still considering this for when I get home. Or maybe just biting the bullet and doubling.

And don't forget the OzarkTwist Gator colored hook by Papa Don H. The more I look at it the more I want it...

I read a lot of blogs. A while ago I was reading a mommy blog that led me to a adoption blog which brough up some issues and led me eventually to a surrogate mom blog. And I was like, "whoa, there's a whole community of surrogate mothers out there who are blogging?" Of all the things I would have thought I could find on the internet that wasn't in my realm of thought. But very interesting. There are discussion boards etc... Who would have thought? http://lynleew.blogspot.com/. Homegirl has a sitemeter so I'm not going to directly link it. But that is where I ended up. I didn't look around much because I ended up going from there to a surrogate mom site. Seriously, I never dreamed that there were so many surrogate mothers in the world. I mean, have you ever met one? Wierd.

Today because I'm crazy I decided to do a blog search for Ozarktwist because I wanted to see if anyone out there in internet land had blogged about the hooks. It came up with only 1 blog. But people. I immediately recognized the name as one of the people I've been bidding against for the past week. And I saw some of the pictures she took of her hooks after the arrived and I still can't wait to see them. So after I checked out all of her pages that were linked on the search page I went to her main page and then her November posts to see if she had said anything else about the hooks, but mainly to see if she had said anything about the other bidders, because I know I have been. She hasn't posted anything about the other bidders, but something was very familiar and suddenly I realized that it was the same blog!
The world, it gets smaller and smaller. I need a statistician to tell me the odds of this.

Still so excited about my ebay win and can't wait to see my new hooks. Only 2 weeks to go.

But mixed in with my win is bad news that one of our cats is sick. There is nothing I can do from here, and it's just a waiting game to see what happens next. At this point he needs to eat, and since he hasn't had a problem with that before I'm hoping that it won't be so much of a challenge, at least not an impossible one. So, as I said, we wait and see.

On my end, I have a bunch of finals that are scaring the bejeezahs out of me. The name of the game here people is, "No Ds (or Fs(or Es, as UF calls them))!" We'll see how that goes. I really don't want to have to repeat a year. Not only is it a big giant waste of time and money, but I can't imagine living through the embarrassment of explaining to everyone why it will take longer, as it is when people ask how much longer they get this look when I tell them like, "So...you're just never going to finish school?" So...No Ds!

Bed now.

Out of Control

So, I didn't post as often as I thought I might, but it was mostly because I was trying really hard not to hyperventilate. It was horrible. To much stress. But on the up side I paid way less than I thought I was going to have to. I got the pretty turquoise and ruby one, and the natural nutmeg one. I'm very excited to get them, and I only have to pay shipping once. Such a relief that it's over. Talk about 72 hours of suspense. But then tonight they posted this one, and I probably wouldn't like it except that I'm a Gator, so I think I might need it.

Let the Games Begin

Tonight is the night people. Be prepared for numerous updates on stuff you really don't care about. The girly bidding on my Torquoise and rosewood already won one in the same color just a different size AND she paid almost $50.00 for it! Why would she want another the exact same color when there are so many different colors to choose from? I'm worried.

I just posted, but I couldn't not post about this. So...for like ever...I could never find my blog on MSN, as far as it was concerned my blog didn't exist, even though it had been around for a couple YEARS. But I must have been crawled or whatever you call it recently because I've gotten a couple hits from there. The first was for the search, "Malissa" and while I was surprised to see msn on my list, I was not amazed. But when I clicked over to the search page I was AMAZED. I'm number 1. Yea! Also a little scary because if someone wanted to find me it would be so easy now. But even more scary is that today someone got my by searching "hashbrown casserole" and OH MY GOD! doesn't that sound good? Now I have a craving, but even more interesting than the fact that I really want some hashbrown casserole right now is that I'M the MSN number 1 search for Hashbrown casserole. How did this happen?

Mmmmm, Hashbrown casserole.

Don't Panic

Okay, so I was going to title this post just "Don't Worry" and it's really more apt, but then I was reminded of Hitchhiker's Guide (which I read and then saw this summer), and so I changed it. The book was better, though my mom didn't like it.
Anyway, Don't Panic, my obsessions usually only last a few months or so and then I get new ones, they don't always go away completely, but mostly. But until then...I think a scarf for Jenn made out of this, would be nice (AND I'd have a lot left over for more) and I think I would like a really wide scarf drapey type thing made out of this. I also think I might want to attempt a shrug in a similar yarn, but first I think I'll try one in a easier to work with yarn so that I can figure out what I'm doing without fighting with the yarn. So...add those to my list. I hope it doesn't take too long to crochet a scarf because I'm already planning a few of them.

Also...my sister tore her ACL becuase she didn't read this. She is having surgery on the 14th, and I'm getting home a couple days later.
I always want to bake cookies, but never have the motivation or the ideas. But this year I will have a captive audience (read: physically unable to leave audience) and so I think I'm going to make cookies and then talk her into decorating them. So...recipes would be good, preferably ones that taste good, and maybe have some decorating or sugar coating or SOMETHING involved with them. I also wouldn't mind a stand mixer. And...I want to make elairs or cream puffs, so I'm needing a recipe for them too. Again, a good one. One with Chocolate on top. And not icing in the middle.

That's all for now.

My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.

Blogs

Links

Archives

Previous

About Me

Friday, December 30, 2005

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Saturday, December 17, 2005

The lowdown

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Retraction

Friday, December 09, 2005

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Because you can never post about hooks too often?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Ebay is MADNESS!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Out of Control

Let the Games Begin

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Don't Panic

My Crazy Thoughtsmy thoughts on various topics.

Blogs

Links

Archives

Previous

About Me

Friday, December 30, 2005

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Saturday, December 17, 2005

The lowdown

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Retraction

Friday, December 09, 2005

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Because you can never post about hooks too often?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Ebay is MADNESS!

Friday, December 02, 2005

Out of Control

Let the Games Begin

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Don't Panic

My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.