So, I guess I should probably post and tell you what is going on. I got a letter this week from UF, I'm on their alternate list. So for those of you who are counting that is two alternate lists and two unknowns. I called FAMU and the guy there said that I should get something in the next two weeks but I think he was just trying to placate me. I didn't call PBA because they weren't supposed to mail me anything until the 2nd week of this month and I figure that if they are just a week behind then I probably wouldn't have heard yet. But I think I will probably call Monday because I can't stand waiting and not knowing. Also someone already searched my site for "UF = "Alternate List"" or something to that effect. So if you get here by searching for something like that leave me a comment and let me know, I'm nosy and want to know who is in the same boat as I am.
I haven't been doing much of anything lately, at least not much that is productive. I've been helping my mom out at the lab. I run just about everywhere on this side of the county, luckily I use her car because I would hate to put those miles on my car, not to mention the gas money. She's taught me to do all the little stuff, and this week she let me make a toe ring, which I am really, really, really proud of. It is basically the same process as making a gold crown, so I got to see the whole process. I already knew most of it though because I've been hanging around watching her make teeth for years, but it was fun. And today she was in the Homosassa becon, the wrote an article about her and the lab.
Nikky graduated high school yesterday. So we went to graduation last night, it was hot, but not as bad as it could have been. Then today we went to look at the apartment they got. I wouldn't want to live there if someone paid me. When I left I told mom that I would live with her forever before I lived in a place like that. It was tiny, and pretty run down even though they are trying desperately to fix it up, and tiny, and dirty in the halls and entryway of the building. I can't believe they would give up a house to live there. I don't care that they don't want to live with his sister anymore, I can't believe that they couldn't find another house to rent there for the same price.
Brook and Jack moved into their new house it is cute and in a nice neighborhood and I think Brook is really going to love the yard once they fix up the beds, and paths.
Interestingly enough I am happier with where I am now than I have been for a while, I don't know why, nothing is different except that I'm facing the very real possibility that I won't have a school to go to next year. Maybe I've just got used to it. Of course there are still times when I get so frustrated with the process that I can't stand it. But for the most part my spirits have lifted a lot. I'm probably just detaching myself from everything and will have to spend years in therapy to fix it later. So, I have to get into school so I can pay for the therapy.
People keep asking what I will do if I don't get in, they've been asking for a while. The answer is, I really don't know. If I could do anything I wanted and had the money to back it I would buy a house in the country but not to far away from the store. With lots of property and have a small ranch. A couple horses maybe. A yard with big live oaks and a pond--or a lake, so I could swim--and a hammock in the yard. Then I would probably hire a ranch hand--'cause you can't have a ranch without one--and I wouldn't have to get up at the crack of dawn to see to everything. Not an enormous house but one with a big kitchen for people to gather in and a big bedroon because if I had this kind of money I would insist on a bigger bed. One with a pool, if the lake wasn't swimmable. I'd probably get a dog, maybe a cocker spaniel. And I'd choose all the colors myself. And I'd have those black horse fences all along the property boundary because I like them. I'd probably let kids come in and see how things run and to learn how to ride. I haven't ridden in years, and I don't necessarily have a longing to ride now, but I think it is something everyone should get to experience. So I guess I need to win the lottery. And hit it BIG while I'm at it. Good luck to me.
Tomorrow I need to go to the used bookstore because I'm out of books, we're also going to shrimp landing to get shrimp, and then we're going to the superwalmart to look for a hammock. I really want a hammock. So far I've been to walmart, K mart, and even home depot looking for one but I haven't found one that isn't a flat piece of material on a frame that I would fall off of if I moved at all. You wouldn't think it would be that difficult to find a hammock living in Florida.
Today, I went to publix to get subs for dinner. While waiting some gross, drunk man walked by and said hi and then something about my smile. How bad must my luck be that when I pulled up to the stop light after leaving the store that they just happened to be in the turn lane next to me, and recognize me?
I didn't get any mail of any kind this week. But when I called UF on Monday to find out for sure about the final transcripts they said I should hear within the next two weeks. So... 9 days.
Wow. Someone changed Blogger on me.
I should post more often. I would probably feel better.
So what's been going on? Well last week I picked Jenn up at the airport. Her husband wasn't able to get leave so it was just her. I was afraid that driving to the airport would be scary but it was really easy. I missed the turn to the short-term parking but just as I was driving through the terminal pick-up Jenn called so I just waited for her there. I was
very lucky.
On Thursday I broke my rule and went to a wedding. It was Jenn's sister's wedding. I've known Jenn for a long time and therefore her family but other than that I didn't know anyone really. So I felt a little out of place most of the time. Not that anyone was rude or anything, I just didn't know anyone and felt displaced most of the night. So I only really got to talk to her in the car on the way back from the airport, and no one has ever said I was good at paying total attention to someone while driving. But she seemed to be doing pretty good. She was happy, except that her husband wasn't able to be there with her. I didn't get to see her at all the other two days, she was understandably busy with her family and all the people in for the wedding. And when I tried to call and see if she wanted to do anything she was mostly busy sleeping, looking for a dog and leaving. The one time she did talk for a while she invited me over, they were having a bar-b-que and playing in the pool, but I felt like I would be interupting them all and I didn't want to spend more time being uncomfortable being around a lot of people who I didn't know and who didn't know me or what I was doing there. It was probably just in my head but at the wedding I spent a lot of time feeling like I wasn't cool enough.
I still haven't heard from the other three schools yet. Not a single peep. It is starting to eat at me. The not knowing is pulling me all apart and I can't make any plans at all until I know. And time for decisions is fast approaching.
I made a run today and Mrs. Thomas said that Teala is still waiting to hear about nursing school. It made me feel better to know that someone else is still waiting. It doesn't matter if they are waiting to hear about a completely different school and program. At least I'm not the only person in the holding pattern. I need to know one way or the other. And I would really rather it be a bunch of shiny acceptances. Or at least one. Just one little one. Please. Just one.
I got my grades on Monday. All As. Yeah. On monday I also put in requests for my final transcripts to be sent to all of the schools I applied to. Hopefully this time they will actually be sent. And sent on time as well. Hopefully these grades will mean something and tip the scales in my favor. Hopefully they will be the final push to get me in. Hopefully.
People are wondering what will happen if I don't get in. I don't know. It's getting so late that I'm sure I won't get in but I feel like if I choose something else then I'm making it okay for them not to accept me. I'm a good student. I graduated USF with a 3.44. My GPA at CFCC is a 3.45. And my pharmcas GPA is 3.47. My science GPA was a 3.18. With this latest semester it is a 3.31. And my non-science GPA is a 3.71, in case that matters. My PCAT was in the 91st percentile on the first try. I had three sparkling letters of recommendation. Why shouldn't I get in?
I just need to get in.
Do you know how often I choke. As in literally choke. It happens all the time. Sometimes I might be drinking water (simple water, nothing fizzy) and choke. But most of the time I just choke on my spit. Do you think this could be a sign of some terminal illness?
Somebody's ready for a Baker Act
So today was the last final. If I don't get into pharmacy school it may be the last final I take ever--or at least for a while. When I think about what that means I really wouldn't mind taking a whole lot more finals---So let me in people!
Anyway, it wasn't stressful, I didn't study until right before the exam and I forgot he said that last day that we could have a notecard, but I got there early so I had plenty of time to make it. A lot of other people forgot too. Luckly I had some extra notecards from microbiology. I counted up the points that I was ABSOLUTELY sure that I got right, and I got enough to get an A. I just hope I wasn't wrong about them and completely bombed the class. I totally hated econ. I was probably the most boring subject I've taken. And I didn't really think I got a lot of the concepts, but I did okay on the tests. I think maybe the professor and I just weren't on the same wave-length. I think I mis-took most of what he said, but it was common sense enough that I got it. Does that make sense?
I think anatomy went well. I'm expecting all As. I need them. Most people wouldn't consider my GPA anything to sneeze at but it is at the lower end of the range for acceptance into pharmacy school and my science GPA isn't great because the only two Cs I got in college are factored into it (social science stats--which I still contest because I would have done better if I had a teacher who taught what he tested on or at least assigned a text that touched on the subject--and Organic Chem 2, which I deserved and was thankful for).
I need to find out for sure really soon or I'm going to go crazy. Actually I need to find out that I got in soon or I will go crazy.
Now I have to remember to have my final transcripts sent. Maybe that will be the turning point. Maybe the will see these As and think, "now that's a girl we want." Maybe I'm already crazy.
Tomorrow I am picking Jenn up at the airport. Her man was supposed to come with her but at the last minute he couldn't get leave so he's not comming. I know she was really upset. I would be too. He was supposed to ask for her hand and all that jazz (even though he already took it). It's probably better though because it will be less likely to slip. I think it would probably really hurt her parents to find out she got married without telling them. It might be better if they never find out and she just plans things as if they are getting married for the first time when they get married. But I don't think that will happen.
It's probably a good thing that I have this blog. If I didn't I would probably drive everyone insane with my worrying about school. This way I only drive myself insane.
So...Ask me where I've been.
No where.
But this is what has been going on. In this order...sorta.
A while ago I was stuck working on school stuff--not any fun--take my word for it. But now I just have two test left and I'm done.
Brook and Jack are buying a house. They have to wait for probate but they should be in the house by about the middle of the month (I think). She sent me some pictures, it looks like a nice house, and she said it has a nice yard with some paths in the garden for her gnomes. I think it will be perfect for them.
Lori decided she wanted to have a baby--well actually she decided it a while ago. But she was getting herself all mentally prepared and all. Maternity clothes, baby clothes, and pooh bear decorations.
Jenn got married. She didn't tell anyone. She got married on a Tuesday and didn't tell me until the next Monday. No one knows yet. Well except for my mom and Lori, and probably Gene. I think it will come out this week while she is here for Marissa's wedding. My mom thinks it will be accidental, but I figure it will just come out--either that or I will say something--I hope that doesn't happen. She tried to use my wedding rule (which was no one was allowed to be married for one year after Lori and Sarah's weddings--I needed a break) as an excuse for not telling me--but that is NOT gonna work! And I'm still not sure if I really believe that it is true. I might have to seeing the marriage certificate to believe it.
Lori decided she really isn't ready for a baby yet. I think that is probably a good idea, it will give her time to be married for a while. But I think this may change back and forth for a while. At the time she decided she was mad at Gene because he wasn't doing his part--not helping with the cleaning or anything. So she was mad and decided she didn't want to do everything AND have a baby with 3 am feedings and poopy diapers. So I figure it will change when she isn't mad anymore, and it will change back, and forth, and so on until it isn't a question anymore. But I hope that when it happens she was meaning for it to happen--for sure.
Jenn's mom called and asked me why I didn't return the RSVP card for Marissa's wedding. I told her it was because I didn't get one. I didn't even think I would be invited. I've been friends with Jenn for years and have therefore known Marissa for a while, but I really didn't expect to be invited to her wedding (oh, and Jenn and Marissa are sisters in case that is confusing), so I was suprised when she called. Anyway, I said I would be there, and she was going to send me another invitation so I would know when and where, but I didn't get it yet. Then of course I realised that my mailing address and house address are different, so if she sent it here it might not get to me. But most of the time the mail man knows and will just put it in our box, but if it was the alternate guy, he might now have picked up on it yet. So I think I will have to call and see about that. But anyway, it just caught me off gaurd when she called because I hadn't expected to be invited, and because it was early in the morning and I wasn't up yet, and because Jenn just got married and didn't tell anyone and I was like, "oh...why is Jenn's mom calling me?!?"
Yesterday I got a letter from Mercer. I didn't get in. But I'm on the alternate list. So I guess if a bunch of people get sick and die I might have a chance of getting in. For whatever reason I am not as upset as I thought I would be about it, even though I'm pretty sure this means I won't get in anywhere else either. Maybe because I already had a feeling because it is getting so late. And maybe also because I still have a chance to get into somewhere else and a small chance of getting into Mercer. I really want to here from UF. It's driving me crazy because when I called they were already sending out letters and would be until the middle of the month, and I feel like because I haven't gotten one yet I must be getting a rejection letter, because they probably send out their acceptance letters first. Maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet. I feel like it's a sign though. Like someone is saying, "Give it up Malissa, you were never supposed to make it this far in life, your not supposed to go any further, this is where you get off...Deal with it already!"
I went shopping today. I needed clothes, and I needed something to wear to Marissa's wedding, I hope what I got was nice enough. I wasn't happy with anything I saw today. And every store in the mall was really hot. Also apparently the Kay Jewler's at the Paddock mall got robbed today. Seems like someone ran out of the store with something. They were fingerprinting the store, and all the other jewelry stores had police stationed in them. When we walked by one of the stores someone was saying something about a 20 thousand dollar diamond ring, but I think that was probably wrong because I think they would have been a little bit more careful with that, and I'm not sure they would carry a diamond that big there. 'Cause I like Kay's and all but if I was going to spend 20 thousand on jewelry I would be at Tiffany's.
I've noticed all the light in our house has a yellowing effect. It bothers me.
My foundation color is covergirl's classic beige--at least that's as close as I can come to my color. And that took a lot of trying different colors in different light, it's a good think they sell those trial things.
I've started to grow my nails out, I thought about getting acrylics, and then I thought about gels, but I decided that for now I would just let them grow.
