My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.

I talked to Lori the other day. She went up to Ohio for a couple weeks and now she is back. Her family has always talked about moving away, but a while ago her father was in an accident and is expecting an insurance settlement in the next couple years. So they were talking about moving up to Ohio when they get it and their kids were planning on going with them. When Lori was married she planned to go with her husband, probably a few years after her parents because Gene started going to school after they got married and she wanted him to finish first. Now that they're divorced everyone is still planning on this, well except Gene. So Lori and her father decided to make this trip because he wanted to get a feel for the area and because it was nearing Lori's anniversary they decided to go together not just to see but to get her mind off of the divorce. Well, Lori came back excited. She's decided to go next summer, in December she's going to move in with her parents and then she will move over the summer between school years. She came back excited about the malls and the fact that there are more available men there. Well, you have to figure that there are more available men our age anywhere else but here. She had a bad experience with her first marriage but she wants to be married and if she met someone tomorrow who was marriageable she would be married again. She wants kids and the fence...So she moving to the land of white bread and pickett fences, at least that's the impression I get of the place she's picked to live. That's the way she describes it. I think that there is a pretty good chance she is going to get there and be just a dissapointed, but at least it will get her away from here. She won't even go to the mall here for little things because Gene works in the mall and she doesn't want him to see her. At least her baggage won't be so close. And it will give her something to be excited about for quite a while. It just worries me that she thinks that moving will solve all her problems and I know she has some left over credit card debt from the divorce, so moving in with her parents will help her save money so she can pay it off, but that means she's not going to have a lot, if any, left over for a downpayment, which means she's going to have to rent, which puts her in this cycle of not having money for a downpayment and not being able to save it because it's going into rent. And I know she has these great plans about where she wants to live, I just hope it works out. I hope it all works out for her, she's really a sweet person and I want her to be happy, I'm just a little worried that in the long run it's going to be more trouble that it's worth.

posted by Malissa at 9:45 PM | 3 comments |

Camera revolution

In the late 1980s or so my mom and a friend of hers co-bought a Pentax K-1000, they took a class and they enjoyed a little photography. Then they moved on to other things. The k-1000 is a fully manual camera, and it was easier to use another camera. My senior year in highschool a couple of friends of mine realized they had both signed up and gotten a photography class. So I lied and told my guidance counselor that I thought I wanted to be a photographer when I grew up and he squeezed me into the class. It just so happens that the k-1000 is the camera most people learn photography on, and the camera that we used in my class, so I got my mom to let me use hers. I had a blast in the class, and only wish I could remember more about printing photos. Maybe someday I'll have nothing better to do with my money than buy the equiptment for a darkroom. When I was a freshman in college my house was broken into (on Valentine's Day) and the k-1000 along with a bunch of other stuff, was stolen. The insurance company cut a check for our loses (excluding the majority of jewelry and currency taken) minus the estimated cost to replace the k-1000 and it's 2 lenses. You see, pentax had just stopped producing the k-1000(which I will never understand), which made it difficult to estimate the cost of replacement. The insurance company decided it would personally replace the camera and reimburse us for the 2nd lens. I spent quite a while worried about what kind of choice they would make. In the end the worry was for naught, we received a Pentax ZX-10, which has not ever let me down. It is a fabulous camera. And we went out and bought the second lens nearly immediately. It has taken a lot of amazing pictures that I am very proud of. When I graduated college my mom got me a my first digital. A Sony cybershot, which was also an excellent camera. It even takes movies. But recently I began to want something bigger and better. I sat on it for a while. I then I researched for a while. And then I mulled it over for a while again. It was really no contest for me between it and the other cameras in its class. I have always had success with the Pentax brand and to top it off I already have a couple compatible lenses, so the only question was whether I could come up with the money for the *ist DS. I spent a lot of time moving money around in my head. Making choices to save here and not buy there. And then a couple weeks ago I went to the mall with my mom with the intention of holding one for the first time. Previously I had refused to hold it. I didn't want to want it that much until I knew whether it was possible or not. So I went to the mall with my mom and Nikky. It was decided that we were hungry so we had lunch at the Chinese place--bourbon chicken. We have a ritual when we eat our fortune cookies. And when I read mine it was already set in stone. We just weren't sure of it yet. Mine told me I would get a good deal on a major purchase. So it was off the camera store we went. And of course I bought it. After all, how could I pass up a good deal?

posted by Malissa at 11:07 AM | 0 comments |

When I got the new camera I got a $50 gift certificate with it. It's supposed to come in the mail. I have reservations about whether it will arrive or not. But, I also have plans for it. Namely a camera case. I really should take a picture of my whole camera get-up. I have a zx-10, with a similar lens to the one in the pic, and a 70-300 mm lens (similar in size and specs to this one) and a case to house all this plus the manual, film... It holds nothing else. And then recently I got a *ist DS, and have no place to put it. So...with this gift certificate they are sending me, I'm getting a case. I'm hoping for one that will house everything, that way I'll have the case I already have for when I only need one, and I'll have another for when I need both. My problem is that I'm not finding anything that looks practical AND doesn't cost more than what I could pick up an additional lens for. Of course, along with this plan comes the fear of it all being lost or stolen when I have it all together. But the fact remains that there will be sometimes when I need both. Like for the vacation we are leaving for in 2 weeks. I don't know what I'm going to do with it all if I don't have a case for it by then. In the end I'm probably going to end up with a case for each, individually, but not until I get that certificate or am sure that it isn't coming. Because really, what am I going to do with that $50 after I've gone ahead and bought everything? So...let all hope that it comes in the mail next week, so I can hunt up a case that is not completely ugly, and reasonably useful. And I suppose it is posts like these that keep my readership down, I'll stop rambling.

posted by Malissa at 12:07 AM | 0 comments |

Yesterday I went to the grocery store to get all the stuff for fajitas. I was wearing my gator shirt and the check-out girl asked me if I was a gator fan while I waiting for credit card approval. And since I would have felt bad to just go along with it when I really don't have an attachment to the gator football team per se (I mean if they play I want them to win, but if they don't, as they didn't much this year, I'm not going to be all torn up about it.) I went ahead and told her I was a student there. And then she asked what I was studying and I told her I was in the pharmacy school and then she asked me if it was hard. I always have trouble with this question. I never know exactly what to say. I told her that yes it was hard, but that I had expected it. But this isn't completely true. The answer should be something like, YES! it's hard! And to say I expected it is not a little misleading. I expected it to be hard, but I also expected that I would still be able to do well, I would just have to put muself into it more. But this turned out to be rather false. There were some classes where it seemed like it didn't matter what I did, I still did badly, and the worse I did the worse I did. There were times when I couldn't believe that I was having this much of a problem. And then I was doing this and everyone was so sickeningly sweet and completely fake. "Oh, come on you're smart, it will be fine, you'll do great, only ___ more days." As if they had any idea. I got this line all the time, even when things were going well. It got to where I just turned off the pep talks because I would have started screaming. You can only deal with so much false praise before you get mad. Like when you get a bad hair cut that is obvious and everyone knows, including you, and then everyone goes on and on about how good it looks, and you're wondering if the rest of the world is aware that you have a mirror that you look in EVERY day.
I guess my point is that yes it was hard. And when people ask if it was hard it's still misleading to say that it was. I expected it to be hard, but I didn't expect it to be hard like that. And the worst year is yet to come.
And there is a moral. If you accidentally forget next year and ask me how things are going and I say they're okay, it is not a good idea to give me a pep talk.
And since when does anyone care anyway? No one cared when I was in undergrad, I never had to answer all these questions then.

posted by Malissa at 12:28 AM | 0 comments |

posted by Malissa at 5:27 PM | 0 comments |

So, I just checked my site meter and saw that someone got here from my blogger profile. So I surfed around a few people's profiles and found that most bloggers are apparently pretty weird, and I thought, "whew, glad I'm not like that!" Hah!
So at the beginning of the summer my goal was to post everyday, but right off the bat that didn't happen. So then my goal was to post a picture on flickr everyday. And that really hasn't happened either, but at least I'm closer to that goal. I guess I'm just not a goal oriented person or something.
This weekend we went blueberry picking. We decided to go Saturday morning because if we went in the afternoon it would rain, just like it does every afternoon. But with Murphy's Law and all, of course it rained. While we were going we weren't really sure if we would be able to pick in the rain, but it wasn't too bad when we got there, and after a few minutes it stopped, so we decided to go ahead and pick, since it wasn't too hot and we figured that if it wasn't raining it would be hot and we would get just as wet with sweat. So we got wet with rainwater. It was fun. We got 2 gallons and 5 quarts. We're taking the 2 gallons on vacation with us. 3 of the quarts have been given away, leaving 2 for us. So far I've made blueberry pancakes (which were flat), blueberry muffins (which were stumpy), and blueberry scones (I've never had scones, but they seemed okay to me). Overall everything was pretty good, but I don't think I'm going to be accepted into any culinary schools anytime soon.
Today I got a jury summons. I'm probably the only person in the world that is excited about this, and for this reason I'm pretty sure my case will be settled and I won't have to report anyway. But I really want to be on a jury. My mom knows this so when she got it in the mail she brought it right over. It's only Petit jury, not grand jury, so it probably won't be a case I've heard of. At first I had delusions that it might be the Lunsford case, which was a little disappointing to me, because I watched the news while that was going on and I would probably be dismissed for knowing too much, and my mom said that they are trying to move it to Levy county, but I don't think that will do much good either because I think everyone in the entire country heard about it at least a little and certainly everyone in the state. It's not until July 25, so luckily it is after vacation, so unless it's going to be a LONG case I will be free to do it.
The last time I was there I had to go for a class. I took a law class that we had to observe court for 8 hours and report on it, so I went for a few hours a couple days and dressed business professional, as I was directed to do, and really you would think it would just be intuitive, but I was one of the best dressed people there. And I felt like I was skulking around the whole time because I'm pretty sure people don't just go there to watch whatever is going on that day. For the most part I just sat to the back, I only got asked if I was waiting for my case to be heard about 10 times. But only once did a judge stop proceedings to ask me who I was. This was after the court police officer person (I can't remember what you call them) came over to ask me this too. I told them all I was just observing, and after the security guard made sure to tell me the proceedings were closed to witnesses, the judge made sure to make it clear to me too. I guess they thought I was lying and wanted to make it clear that if I was a witness they wouldn't let me testify. It was a pretty sad custody case where the mother had a court order to prevent her from being in bars and the father was suing for custody because he saw her car at a bar and had other evidence that she had ignored other parts of the court order. I remember thinking that the father didn't seem like a real stand up guy either and how sad it was that they were all these kids had.
So...Anyway, it will be interesting to have an actual relatively understandable reason to be there at the courthouse. Hopefully I'll find where I'm supposed to go, the summons makes sure to tell me where to park and to go to the NEW ADDITION not the historic courthouse. And I'll have to be sure not to wear beach attire or shorts. They actually underlined not. I still can't believe that this isn't implied. You're going to a courthouse, dress appropriately.

posted by Malissa at 11:26 PM | 0 comments |

For Tab

Doesn't this just make you want to run out and get something pierced? I found these in a purse I was going through today and I thought of Tab.

And in answer to your question, I don't really look like anyone in my family. A couple people have said they thought I looked like my mom, but I don't see it. I definitely don't look like my father, who had platinum blond hair and blue eyes. In fact, in terms of coloring, I'm not sure we could get much more different.

I think this picture was colorized, because his hair was almost white blond, and if you can see the bigger copy you can tell they painted on eyelashes for him. It's his senior picture.
According to my mom, I have features more from members of her family, but again, I don't see it. I've always kind of wondered myself who I'm supposed to look like.

posted by Malissa at 9:54 PM | 2 comments |

Jeez...is it humid here. Whenever someone comes inside they can't help but say how hot it is, but we all know that it isn't the heat that's making it so miserable. It's the humidity. You don't even have time to sweat, the humidity in the air gets you first. I'm still playing with my camera. After I've had it for a while I'm going to write up a review for it. But for now I'm getting used to how it works. I also discovered today that my mom's computer has microsoft pictureit. So I found the disk for it to load onto my computer. So now I have something to edit pictures with. I was really limited before with what I could do, and I'm not paying for photoshop. I played around with a couple pics that I took last summer. It was fun.

The barn started out surrounded by green, but I like the color much better. If you click back a couple pictures you can see the original.

posted by Malissa at 1:04 AM | 1 comments |

I photo-blogged my day. It was pretty boring, and I forgot to take pictures a lot. But here it is.

posted by Malissa at 11:42 PM | 1 comments |

Don'ts

*Don't constantly whisper to another person while someone else is in the room. It's rude.
*Don't constantly leave your crap in the middle of the hallway for me to trip over.
*Don't act like you know every damn thing.
*Don't demand that your presense in the house be known at all times.
*Don't buy a snake and bring it to other people's houses.
*Don't expect I'm going to be happy with that snake living at my house.
*Don't lose the snake.
*Don't pretend like it's no big deal when you do.

I didn't go to the game, and I still don't really have any noteworthy pics. So maybe next time. I think tomorrow I'm going to do a photo journal day. I'll take a pic every hour. I'll post about it if I do.

posted by Malissa at 9:43 PM | 2 comments |

So...I bought the camera. I'm still a little anxious about it. Like, what was I thinking buying that? But I really like it. It seems to need more light than I'm used to, but I'm working on getting around that and getting used to it. It has taken some really nice pictures, but none of anything worth posting so far. It was dreary and overcast, so I didn't get the chance to take too many, and I was fighting with the light meter a good part of the time (Not to mention that I deleted a bunch without meaning to). Just getting used to it. I think in the long run it will be good because there were so many times that I wanted a picture that I couldn't get with my sony, so I would take them on the film camera, but that was such a waste of film and print, when all it will ever do is sit in the package to be taken out on the rare occasion that we uncover it. The really cool thing is that the lenses from the film camera are compatible with the digital, so I have lots to choose from without buying them all. Still it probably wasn't the best money decision I've ever made. I think the kicker was that when we went to the mall I figured I would look at it, I've been thinking about it for a long time now, but first we had lunch--Chinese--my fortune was that I would get a good deal on a major purchase. I figured it was fated. I'm still worried about this apartment that I need for next year, paying rent and buying furniture. I'm a worrier, I couldn't get much better at it if I did it for a living. Tomorrow Nikky is supposed to have a soccer game, if it doesn't get rained out, and there is a very high probability that that will happen. Anyway, if the game is actually on I'm going to take bazillions of pics just to see how it works. Jeez I hope I'm as happy with it as I want to be. I would hate to regret this purchase later.

posted by Malissa at 12:23 AM | 0 comments |

Recently I've been learning how to grill. We keep the grill in the back garage. That back garage is handy and I think everyone should have one. When we grill we pull it our onto the driveway that leads up to it, and then when we're done we store it inside. I'm not very good at the grilling. I'm more likely to burn things than get them cooked just right, but so far I haven't completely ruined any meals. I think it's fun. It's also very hot. And most of the time the heat coming off it burns my hand and I have to step back from it because just the heat rising from it hurts. So far I have cooked chicken wings, cheddar wurst (twice), and hamburgers. Last year after one of the hurricanes we had to live off food we cooked on the grill. The I invented hurricane lima beans. They are very good, but we cook them on the stove now. Anyway, that's the extent of my grilling experience. Tonight I was going to cook hamburgers (if the rain holds off). But I think in the last couple weeks I've mentioned several times, and it has become apparent that I have a snake themed life, as much as I hate it. The snake got loose. In the back garage. Where we keep the grill. I don't think we're going to have hamburgers tonight.

posted by Malissa at 2:04 PM | 0 comments |

I've been working very hard lately to do not much of anything. And because of this, I don't have much to post about. Today, Lori called and woke me up at 9:00, and we went to the mall. She wanted to get a couple shirts at American Eagle and look around. When we were going in she told me I was supposed to help her not buy a lot. It turns out I suck at that. So she ended up getting more than she wanted. She got this really cute pair of jeans and a skirt that looked really good, so I think it was a good investment. And next time she will know that I'm not a good person to take with when trying to save money. My motto is: "It won't hurt to try it on and see." But Lori's seems to be, "Don't try it on unless you're going to buy it because you're going to like it." So it probably didn't help that I told her to try on that skirt. But it looked good on. Anyway, I can't wear American Eagle clothes, but I spend tons of time standing around in that store waiting on other people, they should totally hire me as a style consultant, I seem to act as one anyway. After we watched phantom of the opera, and I had the music stuck in my head all afternoon. This isn't good because I seem to be in a loud music phase. As in, I sing it REALLY LOUD. Yesterday I sang an operatic version of "Oh my darling" at the top of my lungs, all the verses, even the scout version. Today I walked around pseudo-whistling (I can't really whistle properly) the music until people yelled at me for doing it.
Then I left and bought gas, but I left the receipt in the car and I'm lazy so I will have to post about it tomorrow.
Then I came home and cooked cheddarwurst (how do you spell it?) on the grill. I'm learning to grill, my mom is teaching me.
Searching for apartments online sucks. Actually searching for apartments sucks. And looking for cheap furniture that I'm not going to be afraid to sit on and therefore never use sucks. And lusting after this camera sucks, especially since I know if I buy it I will feel guilty for not waiting to make sure I have plenty of money for the upcoming furnishing of the aforementioned apartment.
And that's all.

posted by Malissa at 12:18 AM | 0 comments |

We moved into the house we live in now when I was just starting the seventh grade. It's the biggest house we've ever lived in. Far bigger than what we were used to, and if you ask my mom she will tell you it was a lot bigger than any house she ever thought she would own, let alone contract to build. For her it was something she never thought she would ever do, for me it is something I'm very proud of her for doing, because I know what it meant to her, and I know how hard she worked to do it. When we moved in, my sister and I got our own rooms, since we were used to sharing a room, it was a very exciting thing for us. Sadly though, we learned how quickly we can fill up space. In no time at all it didn't seem too big anymore. We adjusted quite well. Now my room is disgracefully messy, with no space to move, and not enough space for any of the things that I keep having to move into it. Every time I move back home I have more stuff. Thank God for the free-standing additional garage in our backyard. It's been a true lifesaver, at least in the area of space. Of course over the years there have been things that my mom has said, "well, if I had known better, I would have done that differently." But overall, I think we've all been happy here. Of course, my mom will also tell that one of my biggest complaints is quite frivolous, because I think we need a bigger stove, not that I cook much, but I just don't think 4 burners are enough, and well, we just NEED another oven. But really I know that's fantasy. Tonight I have another complaint, one that I've had off and on, but we just deal with it because it is and there is nothing we can do about it. Right now if I could change one thing it would be the location of the washer and dryer. I don't think it's something anyone would ever think about until they were faced with this problem. You see, our washer and dryer are in the garage (the front one, not the back). I guess since we live in Florida we don't require an indoor laundry room since it's not going to freeze any pipes (this is my best guess). In any case, having them in the garage is problematic. This is because anyone with a garage can tell you that bugs can get in. There seems to be a snake theme in my life. Once a snake got caught in the garage door, and we didn't notice it for days, until one day someone looked up and saw the dead snake hanging there stuck in the door. Being total girls, we had to call someone to come get it down, we were told it had probably been there for quite a few days. But the real problem is the bugs. We have tons of different kinds all year round here in Florida. And they get in. So we can't really leave any clothes by the washer or dryer without expecting that a bug is probably going to be in there when we bring them in. This makes it not a very effective laundry room. And more to the focus of my problem tonight is that it can cause quite a heart problem when reaching for the detergent in preparation for the wash.

So I guess the moral of the story is, if you're new to house building, don't let the builder tell you that having the washer and dryer in the garage is a good idea.

posted by Malissa at 11:27 PM | 0 comments |

I have a cousin whose name (first and last) happens to be the last names of a certain political duo (i.e. the campaign was the First/Last campaign). So googling him is impossible. Which is terrible because it appears that everyone else in the world knows that he changed his e-mail address but me. Not that I e-mail him or anything. I just thought it was funny when I typed in his name and got a bazillion results for political junk.

posted by Malissa at 11:54 PM | 0 comments |