My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.

Saturday, May 29, 2004

So, I guess I should probably post and tell you what is going on. I got a letter this week from UF, I'm on their alternate list. So for those of you who are counting that is two alternate lists and two unknowns. I called FAMU and the guy there said that I should get something in the next two weeks but I think he was just trying to placate me. I didn't call PBA because they weren't supposed to mail me anything until the 2nd week of this month and I figure that if they are just a week behind then I probably wouldn't have heard yet. But I think I will probably call Monday because I can't stand waiting and not knowing. Also someone already searched my site for "UF = "Alternate List"" or something to that effect. So if you get here by searching for something like that leave me a comment and let me know, I'm nosy and want to know who is in the same boat as I am.
I haven't been doing much of anything lately, at least not much that is productive. I've been helping my mom out at the lab. I run just about everywhere on this side of the county, luckily I use her car because I would hate to put those miles on my car, not to mention the gas money. She's taught me to do all the little stuff, and this week she let me make a toe ring, which I am really, really, really proud of. It is basically the same process as making a gold crown, so I got to see the whole process. I already knew most of it though because I've been hanging around watching her make teeth for years, but it was fun. And today she was in the Homosassa becon, the wrote an article about her and the lab.
Nikky graduated high school yesterday. So we went to graduation last night, it was hot, but not as bad as it could have been. Then today we went to look at the apartment they got. I wouldn't want to live there if someone paid me. When I left I told mom that I would live with her forever before I lived in a place like that. It was tiny, and pretty run down even though they are trying desperately to fix it up, and tiny, and dirty in the halls and entryway of the building. I can't believe they would give up a house to live there. I don't care that they don't want to live with his sister anymore, I can't believe that they couldn't find another house to rent there for the same price.
Brook and Jack moved into their new house it is cute and in a nice neighborhood and I think Brook is really going to love the yard once they fix up the beds, and paths.
Interestingly enough I am happier with where I am now than I have been for a while, I don't know why, nothing is different except that I'm facing the very real possibility that I won't have a school to go to next year. Maybe I've just got used to it. Of course there are still times when I get so frustrated with the process that I can't stand it. But for the most part my spirits have lifted a lot. I'm probably just detaching myself from everything and will have to spend years in therapy to fix it later. So, I have to get into school so I can pay for the therapy.
People keep asking what I will do if I don't get in, they've been asking for a while. The answer is, I really don't know. If I could do anything I wanted and had the money to back it I would buy a house in the country but not to far away from the store. With lots of property and have a small ranch. A couple horses maybe. A yard with big live oaks and a pond--or a lake, so I could swim--and a hammock in the yard. Then I would probably hire a ranch hand--'cause you can't have a ranch without one--and I wouldn't have to get up at the crack of dawn to see to everything. Not an enormous house but one with a big kitchen for people to gather in and a big bedroon because if I had this kind of money I would insist on a bigger bed. One with a pool, if the lake wasn't swimmable. I'd probably get a dog, maybe a cocker spaniel. And I'd choose all the colors myself. And I'd have those black horse fences all along the property boundary because I like them. I'd probably let kids come in and see how things run and to learn how to ride. I haven't ridden in years, and I don't necessarily have a longing to ride now, but I think it is something everyone should get to experience. So I guess I need to win the lottery. And hit it BIG while I'm at it. Good luck to me.
Tomorrow I need to go to the used bookstore because I'm out of books, we're also going to shrimp landing to get shrimp, and then we're going to the superwalmart to look for a hammock. I really want a hammock. So far I've been to walmart, K mart, and even home depot looking for one but I haven't found one that isn't a flat piece of material on a frame that I would fall off of if I moved at all. You wouldn't think it would be that difficult to find a hammock living in Florida.

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