My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.

Wow. Someone changed Blogger on me.
I should post more often. I would probably feel better.
So what's been going on? Well last week I picked Jenn up at the airport. Her husband wasn't able to get leave so it was just her. I was afraid that driving to the airport would be scary but it was really easy. I missed the turn to the short-term parking but just as I was driving through the terminal pick-up Jenn called so I just waited for her there. I was very lucky.
On Thursday I broke my rule and went to a wedding. It was Jenn's sister's wedding. I've known Jenn for a long time and therefore her family but other than that I didn't know anyone really. So I felt a little out of place most of the time. Not that anyone was rude or anything, I just didn't know anyone and felt displaced most of the night. So I only really got to talk to her in the car on the way back from the airport, and no one has ever said I was good at paying total attention to someone while driving. But she seemed to be doing pretty good. She was happy, except that her husband wasn't able to be there with her. I didn't get to see her at all the other two days, she was understandably busy with her family and all the people in for the wedding. And when I tried to call and see if she wanted to do anything she was mostly busy sleeping, looking for a dog and leaving. The one time she did talk for a while she invited me over, they were having a bar-b-que and playing in the pool, but I felt like I would be interupting them all and I didn't want to spend more time being uncomfortable being around a lot of people who I didn't know and who didn't know me or what I was doing there. It was probably just in my head but at the wedding I spent a lot of time feeling like I wasn't cool enough.
I still haven't heard from the other three schools yet. Not a single peep. It is starting to eat at me. The not knowing is pulling me all apart and I can't make any plans at all until I know. And time for decisions is fast approaching.
I made a run today and Mrs. Thomas said that Teala is still waiting to hear about nursing school. It made me feel better to know that someone else is still waiting. It doesn't matter if they are waiting to hear about a completely different school and program. At least I'm not the only person in the holding pattern. I need to know one way or the other. And I would really rather it be a bunch of shiny acceptances. Or at least one. Just one little one. Please. Just one.
I got my grades on Monday. All As. Yeah. On monday I also put in requests for my final transcripts to be sent to all of the schools I applied to. Hopefully this time they will actually be sent. And sent on time as well. Hopefully these grades will mean something and tip the scales in my favor. Hopefully they will be the final push to get me in. Hopefully.
People are wondering what will happen if I don't get in. I don't know. It's getting so late that I'm sure I won't get in but I feel like if I choose something else then I'm making it okay for them not to accept me. I'm a good student. I graduated USF with a 3.44. My GPA at CFCC is a 3.45. And my pharmcas GPA is 3.47. My science GPA was a 3.18. With this latest semester it is a 3.31. And my non-science GPA is a 3.71, in case that matters. My PCAT was in the 91st percentile on the first try. I had three sparkling letters of recommendation. Why shouldn't I get in?
I just need to get in.

posted by Malissa at 10:50 PM