My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.

Well, It's finally happened. And from the most unlikely source. I received my first rejection letter. Ever. Well, I received one from FAMU last year but that was on the first day of classes and only after I didn't make it from the waiting list to the list list. But this is the first time I've been turned down without any preamble. PBA sent me a letter today. I didn't get in. This surprises me and makes me a little nervous. If I couldn't even get in there then surely I can't get in anywhere else. People still ask what I'm going to do. I think they expect me to have plans because it seems like I have always had plans in the past. But I don't now. I don't know what to do. If I don't get in, which it is looking more and more like I won't, I don't really don't know what I'm going to do, and I really don't have any idea what I want to do. I suppose I am lucky to be spoiled and lucky to have a little leniency in deciding what to do. I'm very lucky to have a mother who will support me no matter what and who is incredibly understanding about this.
Recently it struck me that I'm not supposed to be able to choose my path in life, some people are, but I'm just supposed to fall into mine, and apparently it isn't quite time for me to fall yet, so I'm meant to be floating around in this abyss. Eventually I will find what it is and it will happen. Right?
I ordered a hammock about a week ago. If came today. I was with Lori and my mom called to tell me about the letter and the hammock so Lori came over and we put it together. We all took turn laying in it and being scared we would fall out. Later I took Lori home and when I came back I got a book and prepared to lie in the yard and read. And don't you know the hammock broke. So, now I have to go through the process of returning it and getting a new one. Judging from the amount of time it took for me to recieve the hammock this process could take a LONG time. I'll let you know how it goes. I was really excited about it and now I have to wait until I send it back and they recieve it and send me a new one. So much for enjoying a book in the shade, I probably won't get a new one until after vacation and then it will be too hot to think about being outside even in the dark.

posted by Malissa at 10:23 PM