My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.

I just signed up for that gmail thing. I don't know if I'll use it, but I figured it wouldn't hurt, since I like to save all my e-mail anyway. Maybe I will change, I'll get less spam that way. The only think is that I have yahoo messenger which tells me when I get an e-mail and if I use another mail service then I won't get that alert. We'll see.

So my Murphy's law thing is working. He didn't call on me at all yesterday in Econ. But I don't think he called on anyone yesterday. I think I may have forgotten to pay attention. But I'm pretty sure he didn't call on me.

I still haven't heard from any schools. I can't wait to hear. Everyday I look at the calendar to see how soon I will get letters and it just seems like it is further away. I honestly don't know what I will do if I don't get in. I'm pretty sure I would do something for the year and apply again. But I don't know if I can stand to wait another year and go through all of this for another year. It's making me crazy. It's what I want to do, and I know I would do well in school and be good at my job, I just don't know if my spirit can take being rejected. My mom keeps saying that I shouldn't worry about it since there is nothing more I can do about it, but it seems that I can't stop worrying about it. No matter what it is always there. I also can't help feeling like I was always such a good student, it shouldn't be so iffy. I went all through school with people who didn't do as well as I did--what are they doing with their lives? That's not to say that I didn't know a lot of really intelligent people who did better than I did--but I wasn't the bottom of the barrel here. I can't believe after working so hard for so long that it doesn't seem to matter, I still might not get a spot. I want to get in so much.

posted by Malissa at 11:59 PM