My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.

This weekend a kitten followed my mom home. She works next door to the house and had gone to check something at work. When she came out the cat was there waiting for her and followed her home, walking in between her feet the whole way. She called my cell phone when she was at the back door and told me to come see. She was adorable. And the perfect kitty type. I don't think any cat will ever stand up the the legacy that is Fred, but her perfect is completely different than his perfect was. She was clearly used to people and loved being petted and held. We have two cats, both special in their own ways but we have never had a cat that would willingly let you hold it for more than a couple minutes. The kind of cat we always wanted. So I announced we'd keep her. We couldn't very well ignore her and leave her to the elements. Last night was a record cold night and there are just too many other dangers for a little cat in our neighborhood. Mom was a little leary, she knows that we have two cats already and she would end up taking care of it. But she fell for it too and we decided before we made any plans we would take it to the vet. We kept her in the back garage and the on the porch, until we could get her to the vet, she had a terrible case of the fleas. Then we would check around to see if we could find it a home. If not we made a silent kind of agreement that we would keep it. It would be "mine". Every cat we've had has been "ours"--but belongs more to one person than the others. So I got up this morning and made an appointment at the vet and took her. We sat in the waiting room, where I talked to a couple old women and they thought she was adorable too, and so well behaved. Then it was our turn so we went in and did all the usual vet stuff. She purred while they tool a rectal temperature. I wanted a FIV and leukemia test since she had been outside, and our cats haven't been vaccinated against it. They took her out but I heard her yowl when they drew the blood. I hope she didn't hurt anyone. She seems so innocent, but that yowl was anything but. The test takes 10 minutes so they brought her back in and left again. She was so cute she walked around on the table and I had to constantly watch her so she wouldn't jump off. Every few minutes she would turn and look at me, then stand up on her back feet and boost herself up, asking to be held. She would purr and purr and then I'd put her down and it would start again. I had a feeling before they came back in. The tech came in a couple times looking for something and I could hear them talking about her outside though they didn't say anything, the tech didn't come in alone, she brought the vet. The vet was pregnant, and I wondered how she dealt with the possibility of toxoplasmosis. And she told me there was bad news. Lily has feline leukemia. I had already talked to my mom about this possiblity. We knew it was a possiblity. I knew we would end up putting her to sleep. So I called my mom, and her being one of the best people in the world, told me to bring her home. We knew what would have to be done, but she didn't want me to have to do it. And I didn't want to. So I brought her home, and I said goodbye, and I left to come back to school. I have class tomorrow. And tomorrow she will call the vet and make an appointment. And I have to wonder how it is I became so attached to this cat in a day and a half. We've had 4 cats that I can remember. 3 of them have been strays. So I also have to wonder at the cruel twist of fate that sent me the perfect cat, except that she is sick. Contagously so. And we have two cats already that we love dearly. I had already been thinking about next year. About making sure the apartment I get accepts pets. I was ready to take responsibility for it. I've been all through thoughts of keeping her seperate until next year when I will have an apartment and she can live happily without exposing other cats to it. But I would always be afraid when I came home that I would infect one of our cats. And I know it would be impossible to keep them seperate until August. And I know that it would be wrong to talk someone else to keeping her when she could get very very sick after they get attached. And I know it would be even harder on me if I did figure out how to keep her, and I would end up dragging out her pain because I didn't want to put her to sleep after having her for even another day. And I'm terrified that in two months the cats we do have will test positive for it. They shouldn't because it's really only transmitted by saliva. But I'm still worried.
And after all this I would still do it again. I can't stand the thought that someone would just leave a cat like that to fend for itself. Next time though I would be more careful to keep them seperate, and what are the odds that if there is a next time we would find it on a saturday night and have to wait until Monday to get to the vet. Maybe next time I can get there before I get so involved, though I'm not sure it's really a matter of time. I think most people would be upset with this outcome regardless of how well they know the kitten.

posted by Malissa at 10:44 PM