My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.

I went to the eye doctor today, I think she said my eyes are the same. I checked out color contacts, I wanted green, but none of the green ones showed any real difference from my regular eye color, so then I tried all kinds of other colors. I kind of liked the gray but not really enough to buy them, the blue was pretty cool 'cause it matched my shirt. But I'm not really sure if I want blue eyes. So anyway they are ordering me a trial pair of another brand that they didn't have in the office--in green--and if I like those I will order them, if not I'm going to consider blue--I mean if I have to wear contacts anyway, why not be able to change every once in a while?

I really like this blog thing because you can just use the templates they give you or you can take one of the templates and customize it--which I am trying to do right now--but it is a little hard considering I don't know html. But anyway the cool part is you don't have to know it--but it you do then all the better. I've already added in a couple of neat-o things--well you probably won't even notice, but it makes me happy.

So at the eye doctor we got to talking about the fact that I am graduating and that I applied to pharmacy school--just one school--and whenever people hear that I only applied to one school they look at me like why wouldn't you apply to more schools just in case? But for the most part it is to difficult and takes to long to explain that I just recently had to review my life and decide what I really wanted to do and why I wanted to do it. I always wanted to be a doctor, but why, and what kind of doctor? Was I just in it for the title and the money? Was I just doing it because that was what people expected? And most importantly is it worth what I would have to give up in time, money, and sanity? The decision wasn't something that came easy at all, and I still wonder if it's the right one. I think that it is. But the point is when I decided I didn't have all that much time and there are only three schools here with a pharm program, ones private, one requires the PCAT and more classes than I had time to take, and the other one was perfect--not to mention came with rave reviews. So I applied to one school, if I had been more prepared then I would have applied two years ago, but I wasn't so here I am--and yes I only applied to one school. And right now I'm just assuming I'll get in--if I don't--I'll probably cry, there is no reason I shouldn't get in. And after I cry, I'll have to figure out what I'm gonna do next. And no I don't like it--I don't like not knowing what will happen, I hate not being able to plan. I'm a very planny person, it makes me nervous to change things in the middle, I like to have exact time for meetings, so this is very difficult on me. And to top it all off this is the worst semester I've ever had, I'm constantly writing papers, or studying, and if 'm not studying or writing a paper then I'm sitting around thinking about the paper that I should be writing but don't want to write.

Well this post wasn't noteworthy at all, but I just couldn't wait to get started, I'm working on getting a comment box, but I don't know if anyone would use it--what do you think--would you make comments in it?

posted by Malissa at 3:21 PM